Moving More than the In-Laws this weekend…

That’s right, folks. I am moving my blog as well. I have finally had it up to my eyeballs with this version of wordpress and all the trouble posting photos and losing posts, etc.

As such, please note that I can be found after Labor Day at
MotherCrone’s Homeschool , blogger version. I was unable to easily move all my posts, but I did take the time to copy and paste those that were the most popular, in case anyone wants to reference them. I still have to update my favorites and reading lists, but we will get there.

I beg all of your pardons and apologize in advance for any changes to bloglines,etc, but hope you will continue to read along.

Birthday Shopping for Teenaged Homeschooler

It is only two weeks until NatureGirl’s 13th birthday party, and I am almost as excited about it as she is. This is a rite of passage birthday, and she is emotionally making a rite of passage already. I want to celebrate it in a big way. We will have the party with friends, a family dinner, and a mother/daughter celebration day, welcoming womanhood. (And not, it is not just an excuse to get our nails done-but a rite of passage!

However, that does not mean breaking the bank and changing my ways as a conscious consumer by frequent trips to the mall and huge credit card debt. I have been taking care to notice great sales and put things away since April. This may sound silly to most, but the gifting impact of three gorgeous sweaters, two denim skirts, three pr. flannel pj (all rocking with skulls and cross bones!) and five winter tops that I got on 80-90% clearance then will be much more powerful as we are entering fall than if I had handed her the bag right then. (Total Spent-$28!)

More over, I want to make those purchases that I know she would love and will also fill her free time. Last year, I got her a table top easel and brush set, with some acrylic paints. She loved it, and has spent many an afternoon painting away. The solution—specialty art and craft basics.

FOr this birthday, we are diving into watercolors. She idolizes Beatrix Potter and Emily Carr, and wants to paint everyday. She is also fascinated with Chinese watercolor painting. I found a lovely watercolor set for my in-laws to give her. (they asked me to find it!) I also found a handful of special brushes, just for watercolors, a plastic palatte, and special paper and board. I am going to be hitting the book store to try to find a reader friendly instruction book on watercolor painting as well. We want to sent her for watercolor classes, but they won’t be starting until January. (My Total spent- $18 )

She has also shown interest in embroidery. She loves the idea of decorating her clothing with little thread pictures. I found a lovely book called Kid’s Embroidery, and we will also be doing, after the fact, the Embroidery Lessons with Crafty Daisies. I have a large selection of floss from my pre-child days when I did a lot of cross-stitch and embroidery, as well as lots of cross-stitch fabric. I found a bundle of 31 embroidery hoops at the thrift shop, covering any shape and size imaginable! I got her a little floss holder and winder, some muslin, some needles (gonna whip up a felt case for them) and a handful of floss in her favorite colors. (Total Spent $11)

I used paperback swap to get in some books she has been wanting to read…and since I had so many credits built up, it feels like a freebie! (Total Spent $0)

Today, I get to head out shopping for the art books and baskets to put all the arts & crafts in. I will take a photo once I get it all together!

Friday Find: Retro cookware

Friday Find: Retro cookware

Originally uploaded by all4reagan

NatureGirl and I stopped at a flea market today, and found this retro cookware. We both have a fondness for vintage kitchenware for the 40s and 50s, and this has that look. They are surpisingly heavy, seeming to be a sort of enamel over aluminum.

Best part…the price tag of $20 for the set!

Our future field trip for the fantasy unit…

I found the coolest fantasy field trip for NatureGirl and I while trolling faery art blogs yesterday….

FaerieCon International is a huge fairy festival at the Philadelphia Convention Center on October 13-14th. The featured artists alone are beyond a dream.

I thought I would post this if there are any other fantasy art fanatics in the area. We will be attending all day Saturday…and would love to meet you!

Just when I had things all ready to go…

NatureGirl decides to call a family meeting. She explains that she is not really happy with how the school year is going so far. She feels like a pinball, jumping from one subject to the next, just when she starts getting into really into something. She is worried that if we keep going like this, she won’t learn anything this year.

WHOA! I was most impressed with the last sentence. She is worried she won’t learn. That speaks volumes to me. She really cares, and is trying to find a better way. What can I do? I quickly decide to throw the schedule out the window.

We opened up discussion about how she wanted to change things up. She loves the total immersion approach of a unit study. She is not like me, able to read four varied books at a time. SHe likes to devour one at a time, and work through a series in a few weeks. She visits websites and reads about the author and draws the characters. She writes alternative chapters for fun. SHe loves projects and creating displays.

We spoke of last year, our first of traditional five-subject-a-day school, and she told me that she didn’t enjoy much except for the few weeks when she did her unit studies on Audubon and birds and the botany unit, with the projects with natural dyes and seed-starting. She recalls little of history, literature, or science outside of that. Yet, she can narrate for me stories and lessons from three years prior, that were taught within unit studies.

It hits me that after all these years, I have fallen into habits of my brick and mortar brainwashing. Why did I feel I had to necessarily change things up last year? Because she was now in middle school. Yet, her learning style thrives with immersion. Why did I think I needed to stop teaching to my kid suddenly at grade 6? I know in the back of my mind, I just fell into the traditional model. But I need to remember that there are more ways to meet the same goal, and there are plenty of amazing teens out there who prove this point.

I wanted to make sure to include her in any future planning and changes. We decided to rank her subjects in order of importance, such as those we needed/wanted to do every day and those we could do less often.

Our list was as follows:
Daily- Math Reading Writing Vocabulary Art/Craft
Less often- History Science Health Geography
Co-Op- Music Theater Chorus Study Skills Scrapbooking

We brainstormed together, and quickly came up with a workable plan. She wants to do math every day, as we are, to prepare her for algebra next year. She wants to then do unit studies of 1-2 weeks that include reading, writing, vocab, art/crafts, and even geography. By alternating the focus of the study between fantasy literature, history, and science, we can still cover everything in a year that she is required by the state, but in a way that encourages the best learning for her.

My job then is to sort out the plans for the year into unit study groups. It will be quite easy, I think, to group the lit: Spiderwick, Terry Pratchett, Harry Potter, Fairies, etc. I will keep our history units following the timeline,starting iwth Marco Polo, and continuing with various units on the Renaissance, The Medici’s, Leonardo DaVinci, The Tudor Dynasty, Exploration, and Shakespeare. We can continue our geography stuies as they fit with our history or interests, just as we will our art and projects. We will stick with our chemistry program, but just hit it hard and fast in one week shots of 2-3 chapters and experiments.

She spent over an hour helping me go over plans, and she is so excited. “This year will be the best ever…” I am still smiling, because I love having the flexibility to make her education everything she wants. Homeschooling rocks!!!

New plan for next week: Marco Polo and the Silk Route….
Time to hit the library.

Addiction: List-Making Depencency

A well-meaning friend has been encouraging me to step away from some bad habits…what she refers to as my Type-A addiction to lists. After months of hearing her sing the virtues of a more relaxed approach to life, I told her I would try it her way. After all, I have had a few other folks mention this to me. While I did not feel my list-making was causing me undue stress, I was reminded that admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery with any addict.

So, I gave it a try. For three weeks, I have gone virtually list free (she gave me a pass for grocery lists). I did not experience an esoteric sense of calm. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind, and I find myself acting like another person. I have not felt freed or relaxed.

Instead, I feel stupid . I have missed a doctor’s appointment, forgotten to return DVD’s and library books, and let my DH run out of clean clothing. I have forgotten to take food out to defrost and to cut the grass. Not to mention all the correspondence and lesson plans I have forgotten. The kicker: I forgot to pick Scout up after his golf match. That’s right folks…I forgot my child!!

You would think these oversights must be because I am enjoying myself crafting. That would be if I could stay focused on something long enough to complete. Instead, I try to find some velcro and spend my time muttering about like a bag lady because I forgot what I was looking for in the first place.

Worse still, I find that I am totally distractable. In the middle of anything, I suddenly remember something I needed to do so I have to jump up and do it right away, since I now realize I might not remember again. Each thought is like a golden snitch fluttering in front of me, and I have to grab it then or lose it forever.

I do not like this one bit. I am normal focused and actively in the moment with my children. I am usually the one who remembers everything, even things for the other members of my family. But without a list, I am unable to settle myself enough to read a book or watch a movie. I am utterly unerved.

This morning I am concluding this experiment.

The results~

I have discovered that I do not, in fact, have an excellent memory. I have developed excellent coping skills for a bad memory through list-making. I am more stressed than ever, as I am feeling utterly incompetent and getting nothing accomplished. I need to get my head in the game. I need to get my supplies ready and photocopying done for learning center classes. I need to find my dining room table.

Sorry Betsy, but you were not correct on this count. I am writing myself a prescription for some extra-strength list- making.

On logic and faith…

Though I don’t often discuss issues of faith in my blog, I have had a few emails discussions lately on these issues. It strikes some as odd how the granddaughter of a protestant pastor can be so anti-church. I read a post today inspired me to touch on these ideas a bit. An excellent site that I frequent called Old Earth Creation Homeschool
has the most amazing and clear quote on this issue. Please read this excellent entry.

~~~ After reading St. Augustine’s insight, I find so much truth in this. I grew up in a church that taught old earth creationism. The theories of Darwin were not threatening, and many of the ideas were easily seen as fitting in with God’s design (natural selection and adaptation.) While some of his theories did not mesh, it was clear to all that the definition of theory did not mean law. Moreover, we were content to let science show it’s secrets over time.

When I was studying anthropology at the university, I still did not view creation as the antithesis to science. So much on both sides was (nor has been) proven, but was taken on faith and deduction. So the whole argument wasn’t a big deal, because NO ONE can really know all of those answers. I also studied major religions with objectivity and respect, which broadened my world-view. These ideas did not weaken the faith of my youth, but expanded the reality that many cultures used different means to teach some of the same stories.

But as a young adult, I visited many churches of differing denominations and found not community and love, but teachings that truly made me question my faith for the first time. I remember sitting in a sermon listening as a pastor ridiculed anyone who believed that creation didn’t actually take place in 6- 24 hour days. I was astonished to hear how certain doctrine was so absent of logic and science that it condemned all others as wrong.

The more churches I visited, the further disillusioned I became. The common denominator was that in almost every church I attended, after a while, the theme was the same: *They were the ones teaching the real truth*. Then they would start telling me all the ways that the others were *wrong.* I sat through one Sunday school class where they actually discussed if Catholics were really Christians, because they prayed to saints!

I cannot tell you how disillusioning all of this was for me. Simply put, most all churches I visited were more full of man than of God. Church had gone from a place of love, grace, and compassion to a house of competition, pride, arrogance, and ignorance. Instead of being taught how to love, the messages were about how to convert.

I decided in 2003 to stop chasing after organized religion for this very reason. I had tried nine different denominations since 1992, and it always turned into the same story after a year or so. It felt wrong for me that any church would give such a strong message on “we are better than the other guy.” Worse still, was the overwhelming majority of members who viewed church attendance and volunteerism as a badge that allowed them to judge and exalt themselves. Add on the huge focus on financial contribution for conversion focused missions,* and the whole idea became sickening.

This was not the way I wanted to raise my children. While I wanted them to be accountable for their own actions, I did not want them to think it was their personal duty to point out everyone else’s weakness. The greatest of my Grandfather’s teachings was “let your light shine, and others will be drawn to it. That is how Christ lived. ” How have so many Christian churches forgotten this? They have become so focused looking outward to convert the masses that they stopped looking Heavenward in their own walk.

As such, I have happily kept my children away from organized religion. I don’t want my children to do the right thing just so others will notice. I want them to develop integrity without expecting feathers in their cap. I do not want them to be arrogant and think that any one of us can have the answers for all. I want them to search and discover what faith means to them, turn lessons and ideas over in their heads, not just force feed them beliefs.

This is not to say that we are faithless. We attend a Universalist Unitarian church most often, as it is the most welcoming non-judgmental house of worship we have found. We study the Bible, and great teachers like Augustine and Aquinas. We also study the writings of Plato and Dante and Buddha. We also attend, on occasion, Latin mass at the Roman Catholic church, youth service at the Hindi temple, Passover and Rosh Hoshannah services at a Jewish synagogue, and solstice celebrations with pagan friends.

The interesting discovery I have made is that in visiting all these other houses of worship, the focus is on their relationship with their god and beliefs, and not on condemning others. I find myself especially drawn to the Catholic church, as I love tradition and find it most in line with the teachings of my youth. They teach personal accountability as the center to doing all good works. I also respect a great deal about many pagan ways, and incorporate celebrations of the earth and it’s bounty in my days.

We are still on our journey, but I have found more peace outside of the church than I had within. I know that it was easier for me to question organized religion once I had questioned organized education. I don’t claim to have any answers here, only to explain to those who asked how we got where we are today. I will support each of my children in their active pursuit of truth, and know that if nothing more, I have taught them to own whatever faith they choose as adults.

*added for clarification…

Thank God that’s over…

Nuf’ said. The weekend turned out to have more hands there than expected, although it was still too much work for a short period of time. Every wall and ceiling surface of this three bedroom house was to be primed and painted, as well as toilets and moldings replaced and repaired, and a whole new deck put on the front of the house. (MIL gave in on a new side and back deck for right now….can you imagine the audacity?)

I must confess that I shamelessly played the “WWJD” card on the phone Friday morning. The one BIL/SIL in particular who never cease in telling us how we are endangering our children’s immortal souls because we won’t go to their Baptist church-yet they were the most vocal in not wanting to help. I made it a point to let them know that this was the sort of behavior and attitude that is a poor witness for their church…and voila, they were there. Sadly, they did not uphold their constant advice on parenting God’s way, as they let both their adult free-loading children out of any obligation.

My kids and I had some excellent learning moments throughout this weekend. We are a great team, prepped and primed the entire house together but one bedroom. They noted numerous inconsistencies (Why does Mom-Mom just walk around talking and not doing anything? Can’t she at least vacuum the dirt before we paint? ) They noted that their grown cousins and uncles chose not to help, and we had some great conversations about character and integrity. I told them to take pride in doing the unselfish and mature thing, especially when it isn’t fun or easy.

They also noted that it was presumptious of my MIL to expect everyone to basically flip her house for her for free on such an impossibly short schedule. My husband will have worked 21 days straight by the time this is all done, and that is really thoughtless. They both want to remember to be more thoughtful of those who help us in the future.

I also got to show my children that there is a time to draw a line, as I did when asked to come and help all week. As the weekend drew on, my MIL was finding more and more projects. I was not going to use a week of future time off school to have the kids and I do more unpaid labor! I politely but firmly told her that she does not need to have everything done to move in, and will have to work on those new projects on their time after. We have helped more than enough, and it was good for my kids to see me say “no”, as that is a skill I didn’t learn until my 40s!

I had a tough time of it food-wise, as everythign they got to eat was off my diabetic diet. I either passed it up (doughnuts and cookies) or ate it (pizza) but really felt awful physically. I ended up sending my MIL out to get a case of water, as she only had full sugar soda for everyone. It struck me as ironic that she has been recently diagnosed with diabetes as well, went through all the training, but still didn’t have anythign healthy to offer us to eat. I know I have to pack for us on the move day.

As I said before,” Thank God that’s over.” Now we can get back to the good stuff …..

To be a Dutiful Daughter-in-Law

I will be spending the next three days painting my in-laws house with them, and taking my kids along to do the same.

I am struggling with this a bit, because I am pissed at the family. There are five children, five spouses and four grown grandchildren who could help. I don’t want to do it, but will because they are old and need help. I just have this resentment because all the other family members but one are too busy or, in truth, unwilling to help. “They never have helped us with anything, ” is the common response. Or, many sit and complain because my in-laws spent all their time helping and focusing on one brother, and since he isn’t helping (shame on him), they shouldn’t have to either.

While I respect the frustration that we are all now being asked to help them when they rarely go out of their way to help any of us, the fact is they have a huge task in front of them that they cannot physically handle alone. They are both in poor health. Sometimes it is better to be the example of acting the right way or doing the right thing.

IF we would all get together and commit one day, we could knock it out without much stress on any of us. Instead, it is turning out that we will be doing it all, with only one day of help from my SIL who works the most out of everyone else.

When my kids asked me why the others weren’t helping, I decided to be honest. They are acting selfishly. They are unwilling to go out of their way for someone else. And while I am the queen of “Just say no” there are times when you must do what is right, even if you don’t want to. I hope they can learn from our example.

You Better Take Away My Nice Award

After the last week, I apparently have no time for anyone’s criticism, least of all a stranger. So as I sat in the chiropractor’s office, listening to two teenagers mock of the conversation of an elderly couple, I was quickly disgusted.
When a few minutes later, the secretary asked me a question about homeschooling, as she is considering it for her child who is having major surgery.

The parent of the two ingrates blurts out…”You homeschool? Don’t you know your kids won’t be normally socialized?”

My not-very-nice response:
“That is a big concern for me. I mean my kids are polite and helpful. They respect authority and their elders, and they don’t feel a need to put others down to feel good about themselves. I really worry that they aren’t more self-absorbed and shallow. ”

I then sat down with my book.

She never said a word in response.

I may have to use that one again.
It felt really good to not be nice right then!